LOCKDOWN - A Journey Within

This post has been published by me as a part of Blog-a-Ton 59; the fifty-ninth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. In association with ​IndiCreator. For Creators. By Creators.. Share Your #LockdownTales at indicreator.com

Shweta never knew that phone call from her boss, about coming to work on Saturday on urget basis to collect a Laptop at 9:39pm would change her life. 

On 21st March 2020, Shweta left for work and later that afternoon returned with a laptop for Working from Home. 

Yes, you guessed it right! It was in anticipation of the pandemic and nationwide lockdown; her company management had decided to enable the WFH facility for most of the employees.

It was the new normal to work from home and work for home simultaneously! In the middle of routine work, she managed to take a quick bath in her 15 mins break. She started to like the flexibility of sitting in her pajamas and comfy bed while working from her new machine.

No traffic Jams, no Cab Delays.. simply wow!

But very soon she started realizing this new work lifestyle was leaving her with no demarcation between her work and personal life.

1 Month Later: 

Shweta - Hey! I baked a cake.

Kapil - Wow! You are too good.

 Shweta - You also made such amazing Biryani the other day, yaar. . we no longer need to order food.

2 Months Later:

Kapil was trying to caress her and he softly kissed her bosom but Shweta was so tired that she just pushed him away irritably. 

Kapil asked her- Kya hua?  (What happened). I have been noticing you have changed of lately you have no time for me.

Shweta- Nothing m tired, let me sleep. I have my weekly meet tomorrow morning.

Next Week:

Shweta - Kapil, lets watch a movie tonight, huh?

aKapil - Yes, even i have been thinking i will watch this latest web series with you.. but i have this massive Gas problem today. Don't know it hurts badly. I guess we will watch tomorrow. It's Sunday.

3 Months Later:

Kapil - What are you making today in breakfast, m very hungry.. Aayi is also asking, she just knocked on the door.

Shweta - Nothing.

Kapil - What!?

Shweta - Yes, you heard me right. I need a day off please. My body hurts, im mentally exhausted. 

Kapil - Was I not tired yesterday, but I did the clothes last night. 

Shweta - I have been cooking, cleaning as well, while WFH. This lockdown is killing me now.

Kapil - You have changed so much Shweta! 

Shweta decided to have a day with herself. She left for a long walk and realized, she had no time for herself or Kapil. They were hardly spending anytime in bed or otherwise. 

It was that day, Shweta realized it wasn't a physical lockdown that was making their marriage fall apart but the mental lockdown. 

Our thoughts are our mental diet. What we see, read and listen to defines our thought process.

Both Shweta and Kapil changed their mental diet and started a journey within. 

Shweta loves reading books and writing. While Kapil loves watching movies and cooking. 

They started deep breathing, Yoga and meditation along with a balanced Work Life Balance while working from home. 

They saw drastic changes in their lives. 

How have you coped up with the lockdown, do share :)..

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Show your support for the hastags #BlogATon59 & #LockdownTales. Participation Count: 04.

2015 is here!

Unbelievable! I didn't write a word in year 2014 on my blog! I was definitely too occupied with work, family and work again. Well, it's better late than never. 

I am glad I am back and this time I am not just back for one post in the year. I am back for good. I am going to be regular and I promise to write and blog hop often. (No that is not my new year resolution!) I will blog more often because it has always given my peace and made me happy.

I have a few thoughts in my mind that I want to keep close in my daily thoughts. Hence I want to pen them down here:

I want to stay positive, be a good person and do good this year.

I will love myself and take care of myself. I will have more of ME time..

I will smile, laugh, sing and dance more often. Just a little bit of fun won’t spoil me!

Last, but not the least I want to be thankful to God, my elders and have gratitude in my heart for everything and everyone because it has always made me feel light inside and feel good!

I am going to write soon about what all has happened in year 2014 in my upcoming blog posts.

Wishing all my readers and dear ones an year filled with new opportunities, new strengths to realize dreams that are old and new! Wishing everyone around me and out there good health, lots of wealth, success in whatever they do and most importantly happiness each day and in years to come! A very happy new year 2015!

love,

Megha.

Hum aapke hain kaun?

"chadar vo maili si..maine odhi hi kyon thi,

leke udaasi mann me..uski parchayi chodi kyo nahi?

jab bhi dekha apna chehra..sawal jawaab karta raha main,

murda rehkar kaise roz jeeta-marta raha main?"

It took me, 34 restless days to finally record my very first post of year 2012. Well! ....what kept my grey cells occupied was a lot of complicated stuff. Yes, I had too much to say and too much to discuss. I simply could not decide to express all that in a verse or a dairy entry. To be honest, I was so confused about what exactly do I want to talk about? I am already sounding so messed up, lol! First of all, I was wondering that do our past relationships, change us as an individual? For me the answer is Yes it does. Also I came across this quotation somewhere- "A person always thinks about his past, when he sits alone." I recently finished reading two novels by Indian authors, Revolution2020 by Chetan Bhagat and Can Love Happen Twice? by Ravinder Singh. Both of them were woven around relationships, life, career and love. I am a delighted Bhagat follower now. 

Coming to some brainstorming, I had never thought so much about relationships, or people who make or break one..but last few months have been no less than a tormenting period for me. It is never easy for you if your relationship status is: "It's complicated" .. There must be a team of wise-understating-experienced people who have included these 2 words as a category on Facebook under Relationship status. I wouldn't be surprised, if any of my close friends tell me he or she is dating, or if they tell me they 'made-out' even if the person they recently mingled with is a complete stranger. The point that m trying to make is, these days the 25-30years age group, (which is my age group now) is quite easy going about meeting, hanging out together and being close to each other as per their convenience and mood. The word "commitment" only exists in the dictionary. Loyalty is already extinct. It is not about infidelity, or disloyalty I wonder if is promiscuity come fashion statement or cool quotient these days? Are we no longer innocent and honest towards our loved ones and dear ones? Too many questions I think! Well since I have an idea the answers are not pleasant, I left it for time to tell me. I truly believe in this old adage- "What goes around, comes around." So, eventually sooner or later we get to taste our own medicine. 

Wishing everyone a very prosperous and successful year ahead! 

Megha :-)

Let bygones be bygones :)

It is true, 'Every end is a new beginning'! As the year 2011 comes to an end, a few things in my life have already come to an end. This year was quite eventful and not happening at the same time. I have mixed feelings when I recollect how days have passed. I wait for a minute and stress on my mind in recollecting how this year started.. I remember, I had a fight with my mother, indeed an unpleasant start! Clearly a trailer of how I have spent most of the months gone by. The first month was relaxed and I didn't do much and like wise no major developments took place in February as well apart form me attending the German language classes irregularly. I really enjoyed when I went to Shirdi with my very close friend Swati, it was special. But I was unaware about what was waiting for me. Upon my return I had a few important decisions to be taken care of. Life was not same post April. I had a setback. I introspected and realized I needed to leave my comfort zone and evolve as a different person to be more acceptable. In short I needed to loose weight. As the days passed, I progressed but mom's surgery came as a jolt. Thereafter I couldn't continue with the regime. I took a break..  and experienced what I had never imagined. Depression had gulped me for the second time. After working for 2 years rigorously, sitting at home made me prone to  become rusted and idle. We feel sorrowful, and think it is the worst until the worst actually strikes! I sailed through. I owe a big heartfelt thanks to the almighty for blessing me with friends and family who helped me overcome this phase. Very soon I gathered myself and promised myself one more time I will not give up. I was back with full force, I started going to the gym again. I enjoyed working out, I personally feel each and every individual should have a work out regime for themselves, it might be their favorite sport for that matter. Our body demands it. I had some nice moments with friends and family, I had a few night outs and a few get together this year which were memorable. I feel blessed for all those moments, they make life worthwhile. A lot of times I felt I should start writing and compartmentalize my life story based upon how I have felt, lived and experienced till date. Sometimes I felt I should write about people in my life, how they have touched my life. I avoided nostalgia, it makes me gloomy. But most importantly, I smiled and looked forward. I have indeed learnt a lot and grown up as a person. As these months passed by I witnessed another big time blow towards the end of 2011. With hopes high, strong faith and self belief I seek blessings from my "maalik" .. and move on. I am positive the coming year will bring the better out of me. I am learning and improving on my learning curve for life. 

To conclude this year was filled with a lot of mistakes and a couple of important lessons learnt. I have very closely understood- "To have what you never had, you need to do what you never did". Looking forward to perform and make my loved ones proud. 

Amen!

Megha :-)

A window to her..heart (Part II)

Rashi tried to sleep but in vain. Very soon she could hear the snoring in the room. Unlike Chirag sleeping at peace, her mind was now evaluating and introspecting. She couldn't blink her eyes, as she was lost in recollecting what all happened when she reached home from the party last night.


She retrospected, it was already eleven and She had just come from the Party, escaping the blaring music. She was thinking to herself, it was good to meet everybody after a long time! She was just wondering on how time flies. Rashi had a mild headache and she was just preparing to sleep after her daily ritual of cleansing her face. She had put on her night dress and some light soothing music....she missed how Chirag caresses her head if she tells him she has got a headache..and suddenly the doorbell rang!
She looked at the wall clock 23:42 and presumed it must be Chirag. But he was supposed to come in morning, 'adat nahi jayegi Surprises dene ki' ..she smiled and went to open the door.


"Rajat? what are you doing here?!
Hey Rashi, mm.. I am sorry for coming here so late..


No no, its ok, come inside. Tu theek to hai na?
Ya, m fine. Just wanted to see you..."


Rashi successfully managed to hide how shocked she was to see him; she went into the kitchen. Rajat followed her. She was just turning to exit the kitchen, when she was a little taken aback to see Rajat standing right in front of her.


"Kya hua? you had plans to stay overnight at Geetika's place.. is everything ok?
umnnn....Ra..rashi, .. "


Rajat for the first time stammered in front of Rashi. He could see a very anxious look in her eyes. On the contrary Rashi was still trying to figure out what was he up to. As if both of them were no longer able to disguise in the 'over friendly and jovial equation'. Pretentious, both knew where this was heading.


"Bolega? Did you have dinner?
Ya, I had it. I think I want to tell you something Rashi.. ..


Oh really, don't tell me! ..it is one of your girlfriend-tales from London now? If that is the case.. tu pitega! Raat ke barah baje, you can't be kidding me!
umnn.. "


Rajat was still struggling to put his thoughts in words , Rashi was shying away from this situation. A peculiar discomfort crept in.


"Rashi, I haven't been same ever since...
I knew this was coming up, Rajat i told you, never bring this up ever again! Hum us baarey mein baat nahi kar rahe!


You can't lie to me, you miss me too Rashi, don't you?
NO! I don't. I am happily married. Let us not get started with it!


I miss you so much, and your touch .. and ..
Shut up Rajat! I think, ab tumhe ghar jana chahiye.."


Rashi got up, her face was flushed with anger when she left the room to avoid this awkward situation. She went to the balcony, it was pitch dark. She could not refrain herself from regretting going to the party in the first place. She was busy murmuring,  and a passionate kiss around her neck swept her away! She turned in rage to push him, RAJAT!!.. When she gathered herself, she was in his tight embrace and couldn't move. Rajat had sealed her lips. With all her vigor Rashi shoved him off.
Rashi stepped aside.


"I am warning you Rajat, LEAVE! or else..
Kya ho gaya shona, you don't love me anymore? you don't like me kissing anymore?
I told you it is all over! Don't you dare touch me again.. and please Leave.."


Rajat was bewildered, but was too high to realize how badly Rashi wanted him to disappear. He started to walk out of the Balcony towards the room. Rashi, had a sigh of relief, but only for a moment.


"Theek hai, if this is what you want..then........
Rajat, it is already very late and I think we shouldn't contact each other anymore."


The sense of being detached moved Rajat. He turned to say - "Can I hug you Shona one last time..please mana mat karna.."
Rashi inevitably lost all her control. Before she could answer, Rajat hugged her tight enough..and just took her against the wall..to kiss her neck.


"Raj..at....
Sh.......don't say anything, Shona..I know you love me,"
*passionately suckled onto her lips*


Rashi, remembered each and every moment she had spent in Rajat's arms, in his embrace. She resisted it hard.
Her hands pushed Rajat, but somewhere Rajat knew how her body responded to his touch.


*His hands moved around her waist, caressing..*
Ohh Rashi...I love you so much, Shona..say you love me once..


*His face moving around her collar bone..breathing heavily*
Rashi broke her silence.


"Yes!..I miss you Raj! But......."


Rajat placed his palm on her lips. He just knew Rashi too well and likewise her body as well. He continued to expressed how much he loves her. Rashi couldn't believe whatever was happening. May be now she could not mask her love for Rajat anymore. She was enticed.


*hugged each other and continued to kiss wildly*


They were lying next to each other in Rashi's bedroom, when Rajat started to undo her clothes.. In no time, did both of them realized how badly needed each other.
They were inseparable.
While they were stung by the pangs of reuniting with the lost love, Rashi saw her wedding photograph hanging on the wall. Very soon the amour left her secluded only to realize the infidelity of the moment.
She raised herself and got dressed hurriedly. Rajat was begging her to come back..he could hear her talking to herself.


"Kya hua baba, come back!
Rajat, whatever happened, should not have happened. I beg you, please leave before it is too late.


I don't understand, what happened..you didn't like it? you can't lie to me, I know you loved it Shona!
Whatever happened was a mistake, I shouldn't have done it.. Oh god...Please jaoooo...yaha se,"


*She started crying*


Rashi was talking as if she had just got up from a dream, as if nothing happened..as if she loved him no more...


"Why did you do this Rajat? Why did you come back? Why?!
What?! ..


Why did you leave me..? you did not love me...
I have always loved you..you know it, I had no choice,


Kyo gaye tum mujhey chhod ke?? Did I not love you Rajat? Where did I go wrong? Damn it!
Rashi you know after Dad's death I had to move to London to take care of mom.I had to leave, tumhari shadi itni jaldi fix ho gayi..I didn't even know everything would happen so fast...


Kya nahi pta tha? You knew my parents were looking, I always told you.. come back before it is too late!
I had to manage everything on the business front and my Visa..didn't allow me to travel to India so soon.. But.....Rashi I tried speaking to your family, you know it. They were not ready to believe me, or listen to me...
Tried?? Forget it!!..you don't even know how it feels and how much it hurts..


She pushed him away, when Rajat came to hug her.. Rajat was numb, as if his world collapsed. In a spur of moment he realized that, Rashi is not going to listen to him anymore..she was crying and loosing her breath..He went to grab a glass of water for her.


"Acha chup ho jao pehle, aur meri baat suno..
No I don't want to listen to you..please go away..
ok, i am sorry, if you want me to leave....i m going.."


Tum jaag rahi ho? Did you not sleep....?
Nahi nahi, tum sojao mein bas abhi uthi hu.


Rashi didn't realize it was 5am, and Chirag got up because of the alarm. Rashi might not be able to confess ever what happened that night. Her love for Rajat got burnt in the flames of remorse of last night. She can never make up for this one mistake of her life. She thought to herself, sometimes our biggest mistakes teach us the most important lessons by giving us a different perspective to look at life. Whatever happened was inevitable, she realized may be it was her destiny to get married to Chirag and have a more beautiful life. She was awakened to Chirag's pure love. Rashi looked at Chirag with eyes overflowing with admiration.


*She kissed his forehead* Love you baby..