Redemption

Desires were only wishes described in words,

which never came true & were never heard..

Disgust takes over when regret surmounts,

when failure strikes, how much you tried doesn't count..

Futile explanations and justifications impress none,

wasted opportunity & time can never be undone..

A brutal murder of hopes so high & faith so strong,

a withered self trying to believe how can she do so wrong?

Like a permanent tattoo which can not be wiped-out,

some actions, decisions from your life can not be ruled out..

Genuinely Single

He called up last night and I was busy dreaming about him,

can you believe that? is what in morning I text back in a whim..

I talk to myself in the dark bedroom at midnight,

sometimes with eyes open and sometimes catching the street light..

The questions with obvious answers chase my mind,

like a moron I try to brainstorm to get nightmares unkind..

While I chit chat the day out with friends and evening with family,

I return to bed with the same challenge of not thinking of the 'he'.. 

To utter disgust I lose again, I can't refrain 

what else, I am still playing the same challenge game!

P.S. I wonder how many of us who claim to be "single and available" are actually single in their heart or detached from their past. 

Hum aapke hain kaun?

"chadar vo maili si..maine odhi hi kyon thi,

leke udaasi mann me..uski parchayi chodi kyo nahi?

jab bhi dekha apna chehra..sawal jawaab karta raha main,

murda rehkar kaise roz jeeta-marta raha main?"

It took me, 34 restless days to finally record my very first post of year 2012. Well! ....what kept my grey cells occupied was a lot of complicated stuff. Yes, I had too much to say and too much to discuss. I simply could not decide to express all that in a verse or a dairy entry. To be honest, I was so confused about what exactly do I want to talk about? I am already sounding so messed up, lol! First of all, I was wondering that do our past relationships, change us as an individual? For me the answer is Yes it does. Also I came across this quotation somewhere- "A person always thinks about his past, when he sits alone." I recently finished reading two novels by Indian authors, Revolution2020 by Chetan Bhagat and Can Love Happen Twice? by Ravinder Singh. Both of them were woven around relationships, life, career and love. I am a delighted Bhagat follower now. 

Coming to some brainstorming, I had never thought so much about relationships, or people who make or break one..but last few months have been no less than a tormenting period for me. It is never easy for you if your relationship status is: "It's complicated" .. There must be a team of wise-understating-experienced people who have included these 2 words as a category on Facebook under Relationship status. I wouldn't be surprised, if any of my close friends tell me he or she is dating, or if they tell me they 'made-out' even if the person they recently mingled with is a complete stranger. The point that m trying to make is, these days the 25-30years age group, (which is my age group now) is quite easy going about meeting, hanging out together and being close to each other as per their convenience and mood. The word "commitment" only exists in the dictionary. Loyalty is already extinct. It is not about infidelity, or disloyalty I wonder if is promiscuity come fashion statement or cool quotient these days? Are we no longer innocent and honest towards our loved ones and dear ones? Too many questions I think! Well since I have an idea the answers are not pleasant, I left it for time to tell me. I truly believe in this old adage- "What goes around, comes around." So, eventually sooner or later we get to taste our own medicine. 

Wishing everyone a very prosperous and successful year ahead! 

Megha :-)